Frustrated by pain…

Today was another day spent moving as carefully as possible to avoid using any abdominal muscles (impossible).  My stoma site is as painful as it has ever been — it is as painful as the incision site was after each of the three major abdominal surgeries.

I finally conceded to the pain at the end of last week and asked my doc for some vicodin.  I hate taking vicodin but it takes the really sharp edges off the pain.  Even if I don’t move, there is a dull ache.  Today it is even more sensitive because I was a vendor at a craft show yesterday which meant sitting for several hours and a little lifting.  I did a load of laundry this morning and sure enough, the site was bleeding by afternoon.

I struggle with the challenges imposed by my limited hours off pump – now to have this level of pain has limited my activities even more.  Very discouraging.  I am trying to stay upbeat but, damn, pain can be a real downer.

I see my primary care doc on Wednesday…he will probably do another silver nitrate treatment (agony) but that doesn’t seem to be helping that much.  The tissue that the plastic surgeon removed has returned (and then some) so even his aggressive treatment isn’t providing any relief.

Later this week is the iron infusion (ahhhh the anticipated taste of sucking on rusted nails has me so looking forward to the infusion….NOT).  Pat (infusion nurse) is great for conversation but it would be nice if I actually felt some improvement from the infusions.  It raises my iron levels a little but the levels never quite hit even the low end of normal.

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On a positive note, I am making a lot of purses/bags with all this down time.  I need to add them to the online store so I can actually sell some (gee, isn’t that the whole point of making them?).

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I turn 50 on the 22nd of February.  It is bothering me a little.  I was initially very frustrated at how to celebrate this milestone birthday.  Anything to do with food/drink out of picture, limited off pump hours, very limited resources, and apartment too small for entertaining.  But then….

…a friend offered to host a party during afternoon free hours on a Saturday

…another friend came up with a great idea.  Friends are to send/bring a skein of yarn that is most like them.  I will crochet a friendship afghan with the different yarns.  I figure the afghan will be the coolest thing ever (and warm for snuggling up with on cold winter days) or it will be absolutely hideous (hahahaha).  I am hoping for cool!  I have already received a couple of skeins with lovely cards from the individuals explaining how the yarn is like them.  Very exciting I must tell you.

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Tomorrow (14th) is my oldest son’s 17th birthday.  He asked if we could make sushi rolls for his b-day dinner.  I taught him how to roll sushi years ago and it is something we really enjoy doing together (we each own a bamboo sushi roller/mat).  Sushi is his favorite food but a little too pricey for my budget.  Since I am not trained on inspecting raw fish for parasites, we use smoked salmon and some lightly seared tuna for safety.   We will make a variety of rolls and he and younger son will eat every last bite.  My son is a sushi snob of sorts as he only uses special sushi rice done to specific methods in the rice cooker and will insist on picking out the avocados and other ingredients himself.

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Well, I think that is all the news that is worth blogging about….oh I know some of it isn’t really “blog worthy”.  Let me get over this pain hump or at least start taking stronger doses of the vicodin and the blogs will get more interesting or at least demonstrate some twisted or dopey humor.  I know there is always something that happens to me to laugh about.

Why just the other day I was doing a little shopping when I ended up near this woman and her 20-something daughter on the bread aisle.  The woman was harping on and on about people she knew – malicious type gossip if you know what I mean.  I found the boys’ bread and had to wait patiently as this woman kept the conversation with her daughter going – ignoring the fact I was trying to move further down the aisle.  I said “excuse me” twice and she actually held up her one finger (that universal “wait a second” gesture).  I couldn’t take it any longer and I turned my cart around and as I went down the aisle the other direction I was muttering under my breath (basically doing a rather rude impression of her).  A woman I passed gave me a most snarky look just before she said “oh mother dear….”   I should have been embarrassed but I was still fuming about her holding up her “wait” finger to me while she viciously attacked her “friends”.    Imagine my discomfort when the next day I was picking up a prescription and the woman at the register is the “snarky look” daughter.   Ooops!   She obviously recognized me….but didn’t say a word (neither did I…giggle).  I laughed probably a little too soon while walking away from her register.  Nope, still not embarrassed.

Even with my limited social interactions, I can still manage to misbehave…I may be celebrating my 50th birthday soon, but I can be very immature at times.  At this point in my life, I think that “maturity” is over-rated and I would much rather laugh then behave.

Say Goodnight Gracie