Don’t think too much…

The following was asked on a discussion board I frequent….

Is positive thinking self delusion?

Suppose you are stuck with an illness and you have to depend on medicines/drugs (not the kind that Phil grows in his backyard) for a lifetime and these cause their own side effects and you have to deal with that. Yet, you keep muttering, I will get well, I will no longer need these medicines. Is this positive thinking or just self deception or self delusion (I am using the terms self deception and self delusion interchangeably)? 

This is just one illustration. There could be others. 

How do you define positive thinking? And does it really help?

I responded:

I think that positive thinking is helpful for mental well-being. I also see a role for medication and medical intervention. I believe that they go hand in hand. 

Could I have willed my way to a cancer cure – highly doubtful. Surgery was necessary and because of surgery I now will need monthly iron infusions and b12 shots. Can I will myself not to need iron and b12 – no. It simply isn’t going to happen. Healthy eating isn’t an answer because I can’t eat/drink anything. But I am alive and so a positive outlook is critical for me. 

While I believe in healthy eating/exercise and all that good crap, reality is that some people through no fault are born with medical problems/challenges or develop them later in life. Some are complications from accidents or other issues. I was born with a ticking timebomb called sarcoidosis – absolutely nothing could have stopped it – same with narcolepsy. Cancer – who knows – I wasn’t in any of the risk categories. 

All the positive thinking won’t grow me back a stomach or stop esophageal spasms…it would be delusional to even suggest that. I am alive today because I get daily fluids via an iv and because I get liquid nutrition via a j-tube. This is my “better” – honestly there is no “getting better”. 

In not fighting to “get better” and conquer my condition, I am not giving up, I am finding peace and learning to live well with my condition not in defiance of it. I don’t believe that we have to fight everything or see illness as an adversary that must be conquered. If we can’t conquer does that mean we have failed? I will not live with failure – I would rather form an alliance with my medical conditions and live well in balance. I don’t want to use all my energy and time in a battle….I want to laugh and enjoy myself. I personally think that I am healthier now that I stop fighting and started accepting. I don’t have the stress of “getting better” to gnaw at me and I don’t feel like I can’t even survive cancer the right way. 

Does this make sense? When life gives you lemons don’t cut down the lemon tree or scream at the tree to produce apples. Make lemonade, use the lemons to season, make lemon custard pie, use lemon in cleaning to make the whole house smell fresh and clean….

 I would love to hear what others think regarding this subject…